I often wonder if he even realises that I miss him.
I just want somebody who will never stop choosing me.
I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life.
Listening to what used to be my favorite songs from last year
All songs that you showed
Thinking of all the memories you gave me last year
How a friendship few closer and closer
And eventually led to love
The late night summer talks that carried on into early morning
Those talks still run through my head.
The nights where I’d call crying and hang up with a huge smile
How you mended what I never though could be fixed
How you turned me into someone who can say they’re truly happy
Truly happy with everything in her life
Except one thing.
Except the absence of one person.
And how that person is you.
It kills me.
It kills me to know that you might be holding her like you’d hold me
That your collar bones will make the perfect pillow for her head
That your smooth caressing hands will be touching her body
That your late night talks will be with her.
It kills me.
You were mine first.
You had memories with me first.
You experienced the true feeling of love with me first.
You showed me all of your favorite songs first.
You showed off your amazing talent to me first.
You showed me off first.
You were going to be my first.
But I guess I’m just selfish.