I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life.
Listening to what used to be my favorite songs from last year
All songs that you showed
Thinking of all the memories you gave me last year
How a friendship few closer and closer
And eventually led to love
The late night summer talks that carried on into early morning
Those talks still run through my head.
The nights where I’d call crying and hang up with a huge smile
How you mended what I never though could be fixed
How you turned me into someone who can say they’re truly happy
Truly happy with everything in her life
Except one thing.
Except the absence of one person.
And how that person is you.
It kills me.
It kills me to know that you might be holding her like you’d hold me
That your collar bones will make the perfect pillow for her head
That your smooth caressing hands will be touching her body
That your late night talks will be with her.
It kills me.
You were mine first.
You had memories with me first.
You experienced the true feeling of love with me first.
You showed me all of your favorite songs first.
You showed off your amazing talent to me first.
You showed me off first.
You were going to be my first.
But I guess I’m just selfish.
If I told you
How many times
I’ve sat alone
On the shower floor,
You’d cry too.
|I understand that not all people are going to agree because they come from a different religious background (and I, sixpenceee.tumblr.com totally respect that) but this is information I've collected from various mediums and psychics and others who can see the beyond.|
|What happens:||After one commits suicide, their soul will be disorientated. They may feel shame/guilt for what they have done. They will feel the pain that they caused to everyone else by killing themselves and let me tell you, that pain is IMMENSE no matter who you are.|
|Spiritual consequences:||Everyone is here for a reason. And because you took away your life, you can't learn the spiritual lesson you were supposed too. Not only that, but people you were supposed to meet (the concept of fate), things you were supposed to do, children you were supposed to have, can't be done any longer. You've honestly set yourself back and others.|
|Stuck in limbo:||It's going to difficult for you to cross over because most are afraid of the other side. The guilt and shame keeps them in a low energy state. Angelic beings will try to help you cross-over, but it may take YEARS, before you are fully ready.|
|Don't do it:||Suicide is NEVER the answer. Honestly, you were put here for a reason and to learn a lesson. Get through it no matter how tough your life is. Get through it. It'll be worth it in the end, I promise.|